Maybe because he was busy kissing his girlfriend, Lindsey didn’t notice me putting a condom on. I was already in position and about to slide between Leah’s legs when Lindsey noticed what was happening.
“Whoa. Whoa there, bro. Hang on.”
Leah and I both just looked at him, saying nothing. He kept his hand there on Leah’s tit, and looked back and forth between us, like he assumed we knew what he was thinking. I did, but pretended I didn’t.
“It’s okay, sugar.” Leah put her hand to his cheek. “Just…feel the moment. Feel the energy.”
Lindsey sat up. “Yeah,” he stammered, “yeah, yeah, it’s cool, but…come on, man.”
“Right, it’s cool,” I said, and moved back in on Leah. Lindsey blocked me with a hand on my chest.
“WHOA!” he shouted. “Just don’t…do that, okay?”
“Hey, baby,” said Leah, sitting up. “Don’t worry, all right? We all wanted this.”
“Yeah, well…” Lindsey shook his head. “I didn’t want…that. I didn’t want…”
“You didn’t want me to fuck her?” I yanked the condom off, since it was clear the party was over.
“Well, yeah. I mean…I wanted to see you two together, I just didn’t want…that.”
“You just wanted to see us get to third base,” I said.
“Aw, shit.” Leah reached for her cigarettes. “I don’t believe this is happening again.”
“Again?” I asked.
“Yeah,” said Leah, lighting her Camel. “This is just like last time, except that was with a girl.”
“And he didn’t want you to fuck her?”
“No, he didn’t want him to fuck her. I gave her a shitty blow job, then she wanted him, but when she climbed on top of him, he started to cry.”
“Oh, for chrissakes.” Lindsey stood up and put his hands to his head, his dick flopping around between his skinny legs. “I’m sorry, okay? I just don’t want us to be unfaithful to each other.”
“We’re all on the same plane here, honey,” Leah said in a voice containing little affection, dangling the cigarette from her lips like a Blues Brother. “We were all getting aroused together. We were all in the moment. We were all loving ourselves and each other. What does it matter whose parts are where?”
“It matters!” exclaimed Lindsey. “It’s the difference between making out and…and making love.” He put his hands on his hips. “Making love is for lovers.”
I reached for my clothes. “Listen, I’m…”
“No, hang on.” Lindsey dropped her smoke in a half-empty can of High Life. “Come here.” She grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down. “I want to finish this.”
“Should I get another rubber?” I asked.
“No!” cried Lindsey.
“Hey,” said Leah, “let’s just finish this on a nice note.” She reached for my dick, but before I could decide where to put my hand, I heard Lindsey choking back a sob.
I sat up. “I can’t do this,” I said. “You two figure your shit out.”
Leah sighed and shook her head. Crawling under the covers, she turned towards the wall. “Whatever,” she said.
“I’m sorry, bro,” said Lindsey as I pulled on my jeans.
“No,” I said, “it’s fine. Now I just have to go jerk off to a relatively recent memory of having my dick pressed up against your girlfriend’s naked ass. But don’t worry—we didn’t make love or anything spiritually intimate like that.”
Lindsey hung his head. “I don’t believe I suggested this.”
“I do,” I said as I buttoned my shirt. “You wanted to get laid tonight, and you knew nothing would happen unless you spiced it up. Now, excuse me.”
As I went down the cottage steps, I heard Lindsey try to say something to Leah, but she interrupted him. “No, just be quiet, lover. Come over here and work this knot out of my back. But put on your pajamas first…I hate it when your junk dangles on me.”